A shady role model.  (The story of my love for Eminem) 

It all began when I was a child, and a friend told me to listen to Smack that, by Akon featuring Eminem. I at the time, listened mostly to Taylor Swift and more softer tunes, so you would think the genre wouldn’t interest me as much. But oh,  it did. Before you know it, I was going 🎶smack that, all on the floor🎶  and had already learnt Eminems verse. I was interested. 

I went on to search about Eminem, who at the time had released the Marshall Mathers LP 2, so naturally, Rap God  was the recent hit. It ended up being the first song I ever heard by Eminem. Listening to it was heaven, and I was extremely influenced by how this amazing guy, could make anything, everything rhyme. 

After learning Rap God faster than I could learn school material, I listened to more of his songs.  I remember Lose Yourself and My Name is being the earliest songs I discovered. I was amazed, spellbound. I was still a child at the moment, and didn’t understand the disses and cuss songs, but still learnt the lyrics by heart naturally and sang them till I was breathless. 

As I grow up, when I play those songs on repeat, it hits me in pieces,  OOOH, THIS MEANS THAT! HE’S REFERRING TO THAT STAR, I NEVER KNEW! His genius keeps amazing me. After that I had the slim shady phase, where  The Real slim shady was the jam for a long period of time. 

Days passed, more songs kept increasing. After a while was when I truly understood the pain behind this man, I admired. 

Father left him, mother was on drugs, constantly moving, bullied at school, beat friend died, lived in poverty, wife left and cheated on him, the world got offended. 

And he still raps on.

And since then, Marshall Bruce Mathers II has been my role model. He’s showed me to endure pain and express it, so you can build off it than letting it build off you. He’s taught me, even if the whole world is against you, you still have a chance.  He’s taught me to fight Till I collapse, to never switch off the hope of the headlights, to never be scared of the monster. I am and will always be a Stan.

As a writer,  he’s given me the strength to address my feelings through my art. Eminem, thanks for making me laugh, cry, smile and happy. 

I know you hear this alot, but I’m your biggest fan, I even got a room full of your pictures and your posters man! 

Moments-2

We live for these moments, 

Roaring with laughter, rolling on the floor, 

Smiling till our cheeks hurt, 

Together, we have the most amazing times, which we will remember for forever. 

I wonder how many tables, 

Have our stories inscribed on them, 

Of how we met them that night, how you finally moved on, how I turned 15,and how we made fun of those idiots we dislike, 

I wonder how many walls, 

Feel proud to behold our laughs, 

And I wonder how our hearts and minds, 

Savour this moments

As they turn into memories. 

So effortlessly, so beautifully. 

The best feeling of the world. 

The best feeling of the world

Is when I am floating in the middle of the water, 

My body is placed carefully on the blue. 

In these moments, I let myself free, 

I lose control on my own self. And my body, 

It slowly moves along with the waves, 

It changes direction with the waves, 

body. 
The waves and my body are one, how they move is how I move, 

Our rhythmic movements feel so pleasant.

The water takes hold of my ears and I lie on top it, 

So I can hear nothing but my breath, 

Inhaling, exhaling. 

I feel my life, in every Second. I am alive. 

And I lie there, half submerged in the waters, staring into the sky, the trees and the stars. 
And I feel Alive. 

Odd one out

I’ve spent my whole life,

Being a part of groups, yet unbelonged, 

Being with people, who I’d not really call mine. 

No matter where I go, I always stand out. 

Is it a boon or a curse? 

To be so different. 

People will die for being so unique, and I fear being average, 

But what if I want to be belonged?

Maybe, I was robbed of company, and my talent was my compensation. 

Maybe, I’ll live this way forever.

Slavery

We dont love. 

We don’t want to give someone else the importance we need. 

We don’t want to swallow our pride and ego, like we expect someone else to. 

We don’t want to work hard for it,but we want someone else to. 

We don’t want a lover, we want a slave. 

A slave who can give us attention and love whenever we ask for it. 

Who will listen to a thousand foul words and still stay, never stray. 

Who will bathe you with compliments and praises and prayers, 

And wash you of your evils, cleanse you of  your soul. 

Who will dry you of your sins and wipe off, taking away all the pain. 

Who will clothe you with adoration. And ask for nothing in return. 

Who will cater to each need, but you won’t pay a heed.

Maybe, slavery is the new love? 

Role Playing 

There is no absolute reality. There are no fixed roles we fit in, but actually, all of us play several roles in a lifetime. Its like in a classroom, one person is not the official drama queen and another is not the only nerd. Sometimes the geek has a crush on another geek, and sometimes the popular girl really likes debating. We are made to fit into these box like roles which cinema and society have made for us. 

A ‘bad girl’ is instinctively a girl who rides motorcycles, wears black and has no emotions whereas a rebellious girl could also be onewho breaks any stereotype. You dont necessarily have to be mean. 

‘Good boys’ and ‘good girls’ are generally people liked and loved by all. Studious,nice and lovely. They seem so good. But does anyone know what goes down to obtain such a squeaky clean reputation? They all have skeletons in their closets, and most of them often lie and play games,for the sake of their own benefits. Not so good now, eh? 

The point is, we all have weaknesses and strengths and none of are perfect just like none of us are completely evil either. Even villians have their own explanations. You dont need to abide by another role. You are who you are, dont be the same thing many others have been. Dont follow a role, instead make another one.

Bad times 

Sad, angry, tired, demolished, 

I sit alone, contemplating on how the times are.

No matter how hard I try to make things right, something bad always happens. Problems and challengens aren’t what I fear. What I fear, is running out of solutions. Should I give up?  Should I go on? Maybe I should stop, take a breath and start again. 

Maybe the bad times are not so bad. Maybe they remind me to appreciate the good ones more.